noreply@blogger.com (Jean Grae) — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 13:54:00 +0000

Jean!!!! You keep going m.i.a on me!!! Argghhh!!!

Yes I know. I feel bad, AGAIN.. It’s the last week of this album and everything has been retarded, so it’s fantastically hard for me to keep up with all the things I’m supposed to do at once. Plus, birthday weekend, which falls after Thanksgiving, redecoration of apartment…..shoot. A clone? Puhleeeeeze???

This morning, well… as I’m a complete insomniac and sometimes stay up for 2 days at a time, I’m not really sure if it was morning or not. Could’ve been 2pm…I digress…

I drift in and out of sleep with the distinct feeling that there’s something either staring at me, or in the room with me. This, is very, very creepy due to the fact that I live alone. I sit up, look around, nothing. I keep doing this for about an hour or so until I start to hear what sounds like tap dancing on sandpaper coming from the ceiling. LOUDLY. Then LOUDER. For about 4 hours. I remember my old roommate saying that she used to hear either raccoons or squirrels, pretty much having a conference, followed by a dance party on the roof. Since I have been in that room for a month and haven’t heard a damn thing, I though, “eh…I guess that was a summertime thing and I won’t hear it..” or.. “They’re gone.” Ummm, yeah .. No.

It was fucking infuriating. Then or course, somehow they move (I don’t know how) to the side window and begin having a heated debate over something in extremely loud screechy tones. For another 2 hours.

I love Brooklyn. I do. I however, grew up in the middle of Manhattan. We had 1 tree on the block. We did NOT play in the street, we didn’t have a stoop. I dreamt of people in backyards and barbeques and all the things I would see in movies but never experienced.
When I moved to Brooklyn, I first lived in Clinton Hills. Then, quite different, no Connecticut Muffin to be seen. It was, oh .. 1997?? I think.. 1996?? I have no idea. But, I was in love. Sitting on a stoop??? Tree lined blocks???!?!?! For me, it was suburbia. It still is, to a certain degree.. I didn’t factor in the wildlife issue, I just never thought of it.
Mice? Yeah. Water bugs, roaches? Sure. Ummm, anything LARGE and FURRY that was not a domestic animal, save for the super size subway rats…. NO.
I’ve gotten used to the wide variety of insects that we never had in Manhattan. The spiders, the random “What the fuck is that??” striped, dotted or ridiculously fast crawling bug. I kill them, eh. That’s it.

A raccoon on my ceiling is a different story. It also sounds like the name of a terrible hipster band.

I hate them.

Fucking raccoons. Fuck off.

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Grae) — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 14:25:00 +0000

Oh man.. I feel SOOOO bad.. I was all "Hell yeah I can blog the blog for the blog like......NOW!!"
And then I didn't.. Yeah, very rapperly (not a word) of me.

But hey, here I am.. I promise not to be a slacker next time guys. I love you all.. deeply. OK, not THAT deeply, but, pretty deep.

Hmmm, so it's Halloween. One of those holidays where it's fun to look for boys.
I've had a couple of weird experiences with boys in costume that I assumed were hot because of their costume. Only, to find out later that it was a combination of liquor, bad lighting and good costume. Do not be fooled... Then you see them again on a normal day MINUS funky attire and err.. oh. bad.. so NOW I do NOT even attempt to strike up a conversation with anyone donning a mask, cape or some sort or outfit that conceals entirely too much. Well, I try. I'm a sucker for a creative costume. I like to know that people think. That makes them infinitely more attractive to me. That, and an offensive sense of humor. Yummy...

Let's see how it goes tonight. I can type all that "I'm not checking for you in you silly coverage costume", but I'm also not in liquor, dance mode. We'll see. I will try and remember blogging about it.

Sigh, ahhhhh.. being single in the city. You would think in New York we would have a large selection of mates to possibly select from. Well where are they? If anyone knows where to find non-psycho, job having, attractive, financially stable, humorous and witty men to date.. please stop holding on to that information, you bastards.
I was contemplating speed dating, cause its funny..
Then I thought about doing my own dating show. Of course, it's just ME going on date after date. Cause it's funny.
Then I thought about combining the two. This is probably what will happen.
Do I think I'm gonna meet the greatest guy in the world by these methods? NO.
I do figure that since I would go on dates anyway, that I might as well let everyone share in the sheer hilarity of the experience.
Yup.
Perhaps I will meet some candidates at my party tonight, dressed like the shower costume Ralph M. wore in The Karate Kid. That was an awesome costume. Or ... perhaps I will remember my own advice after the many glasses of vodka and NOT talk to the shower curtained man.
Sigh..
Like I'm gonna get a date in my outfit anyways..

Oh, I'm a giant WIC card.. with a trail of babies.

Maybe it's me?

Nahhhhh..

Jean Grae Owns Your Soul