Top 5 Underappreciated Sit-Com Characters From The Past Ten Years

5. George Bluth Sr. – Arrested Development – Jeffrey Tambor plays the morally corrupt philandering patriach of the Bluth family. I didn’t appreciate the greatness of Tambor’s work as George until my second time watching the series. He is an excellent player in an amazing ensemble cast that has three of the greatest sit-com characters ever in GOB, Buster and Tobias. But don’t sleep on George Sr. or Tambor for that matter who was also unbelievably great as Hank Kingsley on The Larry Sanders Show.

Kitty's Titties:



4. Kenneth Parcell – 30 Rock – Kenneth is played Jack McBrayer who daftly adds a touch of darkness to the naïve NBC page from the sticks. His character is played with a wide-eyed innocence that we haven’t seen since the days of Woody on Cheers.

Best of Kenneth Montage:



3. Gareth Kennan – The Office (UK) – The basis for the Dwight Schrutt character so expertly played by Rainn Wilson in the American version of The Office is often forgotten because of how amazing Dwight is. However, it was the foundation laid by Mackenzie Crook as Gareth that makes Dwight even remotely possible. His portrayal of Gareth was less over the top than Dwight but it was perfect for the UK version of the show where the humor was based more on social awkwardness than all out stupidity. Both are great but I would like to see Gareth get more props.

Garreth Kennan Invetigates:



Garreth's Fat Bird Problem:



Sloppy Seconds:





2. Chuck Noblet – Strangers with Candy – We all know Stephen Colbert is the man. He tore down the President while he was sitting right next to him. Makes O’Reilly look like a fucking retard on a nightly basis and provides more laughs in a half hour than every other late night talk host does in a month. Sadly, most people are unaware of his roll in the short-lived but highly amusing Comedy Central sit-com Strangers with Candy. He played a high school history teacher obsessed with religion, the American way and his secretive gay relationship with art teacher Geoffry Jellineck. If not of the number one on this list he would easily be my all-time favorite sit-com character.

Dinner Party:



King of Glory Dance:



Career Test:



1. Charlie Kelly – It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia – I know I’m preaching to the choir on this board, unfortunately we are a very small minority and most people are blissfully unaware of the greatness of this show and of the best character on the show Charlie Kelly. Outside of saying he is my favorite sit-com character ever I don’t really have much else to say but enjoy the clips:

The Hunger:



Green Man:



Oil Salesmen:



and of course Day Man:

Tonight on a very special episode of I'm Famouser

Top 5 Very Special Episodes:

As a child who was raised by the nurturing glow of TV sitcoms from the seventies and eighties I learned many an important life lesson from its warm glowing screen. These lessons were often proceeded by a very serious voice over somber music to let you know just how important these lessons were. I can only imagine how different my life would be if not for these very special episodes or as i like to call them VSEs.

5. Gun Violence - The Fresh Prince of Bel Air - If I've learned anything from watching TV for the better part of my childhood it is this; black people love guns. Never has this phenomenon been better illustrated than in the VSE of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air when Will takes a bullet for Carlton. A normally mild manner, well educated, pampered, and even tempered Carlton Banks finds himself trying to fight an attraction even greater than white women. Of course I am referring to guns. Thank god for his street wise cousin Will who by this point in the series has learned to cry on demand.



4. Gangs - Good Times - In the late seventies gangs were the scourge of the inner city and now where was this more apparent than on the set of Good Times. Who knew that this problem could be cleaned up with a mother on a mission and a militant 13 year old.



3. Drugs (particularly speed)- Three way tie Welcome Back Kotter, Saved By the Bell and Family Ties - Apparently everyone and their cousin was on speed. I must have missed this due to the excessive Meister Brau and Old Milwaukee I was drinking as a teen. Good thing my favorite shows didn't focus on teen alcohol abuse or I might have become a speed freak.







2. Booze - Family Ties - See what I mean. Alcohol was an adult problem. It wasn't a problem for teens, unless of course your uncle was Tom Hanks, in which case both alcohol and backhands became a teen problem.



1. Pedophilia - Diff'rent Strokes - Long before Chris Hanson was proving that we should never trust anyone over 15 wearing jean shorts the good folks over at Diff'rent Strokes were protecting American boys from pedophiles and black guardians.

Favorite album ever, at least for today pt. 2

I had been contemplating doing another top 5 list, this time of the top 5 people on Philaflava that I really don't like. However the idea of addressing these people with more than a sentence seemed like a waste of time. So I decided to throw up another favorite album ever blog. This time around it's Group Sex the debut album from the Circle Jerks. The Circle Jerks were started by Keith Morris former Black Flag vocalist in '79 and dropped Group Sex in '80. I didn't come up on it till about '88 or '89 but it quickly became one of my all time favorite albums. Morris' voice is exactly what I expect a hardcore/punk front man to sound like. The album 14 songs in 15 minutes with no song longer than a minute and a half, how could it be bad. 20 years later I still listen to it at least once a week, and if I'm drunk forget about it. You might see me singing Live Fast Die Young in the streets of Park Slope Brooklyn after leaving Lucky 13 at 4 am.

I'm feeling kinda lazy so I'm not gonna do a track by track breakdown. But here are a few highlights.

Deny Everything is 28 seconds of pure anger.

Back Against the Wall is a nice bit of skank, rebellion and fighting.

Wasted is an amped up version of a song that Morris did with Black Flag on the Nervous Breakdown ep. I like this version better. It has more energy and fits the vibe of the lyrics better

World Up My Ass (I guess I should put a 'no homo' here). Perfect song to listen to when you are pissed off at the world. If your boss is giving you shit, or your old lady is telling you to get off the couch and do something with your life, Icethikkkle I'm looking at you.

Live Fast Die Young is for my money the greatest youth anthem ever. Like I said earlier I will definitely sing this shit in the streets when I'm drunk. It will make you feel like a kid all over again.

http://www.zshare.net/download/18877367820c10db/

In case you were wondering who the top 5 posters that I hate are, well i could only think of three. Ice for his poseurish know it all ways, Hustler for bringing shame to Canadians and dental hygiene and his played out racist for the sake of shock value ways. and Nestle Quik for being an the text book definition of the whiny liberal and trying to get people banned.

I hope you enjoy this album as much as I do.

Top 5 Teen Movies

5. Less Than Zero – This is the movie that made put the fear of god into me and made me swear to never take coke. It is also the movie that made me want to bang Jamie Gertz and Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles.



4. Dazed and Confused/Fast Times at Ridgemont High (tie) – I couldn’t decide between these two so they will have to share the number 4 slot. Both movies are filled with actors that would later become major stars. Both have hella hot babes, Fast Times getting the edge because of Phoebe Cates. Both have endless great support characters, Fast Times again getting the nod thanks to the fine work of Mike Damone. Finally both have iconic stoner characters. Sean Penn’s portrayal of Jeff Spicoli is still his greatest roll and after seeing what a miserable prick he is there is no way he shouldn’t have won the Oscar. As great as Spicoli is I have to give the edge to Wooderson. McConaughey has never been good again, but he was pitch perfect as the semi creepy older guy that still gets high with the high school kids.

Mike Damone's 5 point plan for pimpin



Post Kegger scene from Dazed and Confused



3. Heathers – This movie is so goth.



2. Over The Edge – Greatest soundtrack ever. This was Matt Dillon’s first appearance on the screen. Suburban white kids calling the cops pigs and burning down the school. What more could you ask for.

Matt Dillon at his most bad ass



1. 3 O’Clock High – This was my favorite movie growing up. It was smart, amazingly shot and the villain, Buddy Revell was completely menacing. Jerry, the lead character was the perfect everyman. There isn’t a single flaw in this movie other than it was barely marketed. It should have been as big as any of the John Hughes films of the era and is infinitely more entertaining than the very excellent Ferris Bueller’s Day off. If you haven’t seen it please treat yourself. You won’t regret it.

Top 5 fight scenes from the 80s

Been a minute since I've done one of these, sorry for the delay. This one is just gonna be a quicky but its also gonna be amazing. so sit the fuck back and enjoy


5. Roadhouse - even though he promised he never would again, Dalton aka the swayze is forced to kill again. But fuck it he had no choice. Homey pulled a piece on him. This is the only clip of the fight scene i was able to find, for some reason its under the musical bed of In Your Eyes by Peter Gabrial. Its still pretty killer



4. Kickboxer - for my money made van damme a legend. the fight was brutal as fuck.



3. Bad Boys - one of my favorite scenes in any movie ever. Sean Penn gets certifiably bad ass



2. They Live - initially i wasnt gonna even include this because its just so legendary and amazing that it there was no point. However i felt it would be a sin to keep it out since it is perhaps the greatest fight scene ever. The only reason i didnt put it at number one is because it couldnt top the emotional ties every american has to the number one fight of the 80's



1. Apollo vs. Drago - Tragedy is the only way i can describe it. I think we all remember where we were when Apollo died, we will never forget you Apollo. This clip shows the tragic fight and the emotional aftermath

My favorite album ever, well at least for this week

I never believe people when they say a song, book, record, movie or teacher changed there life, it’s just one more ridiculous platitude that self important people use because they need every aspect of their life to take on greater meaning. The car accident where you lose your arm might change your life, or a major head trauma might lead you to open a record store/apt. in LA, or your grandfather sticking his hand in your panties might lead you to a career in the porn industry. But a record is not going to change your life. If you say it does your life sucks and you are a dick.

That being said I do believe there are a few albums, books or teachers that not necessarily life altering, leave a lasting impression and will always hold a special place in your heart. There are few things from my formative years that stand the test of time and take me back to the feeling I had when I was a teen. I can think of one book, one teacher, and a few records from that era that stand that test of time.

Suicidal Tendencies self-titled album from 1983 is one of these albums. I would go so far to say that it is my favorite album of all time, well at least today it is. It will most likely change when I throw on Illmatic, Beggar’s Banquet or some other record that I love. If push came to shove it probably would end up in my top 5 but the number one desert island record has to be GNR Appetite for Destruction, but for the sake of this blog and this week its my favorite album ever.

I first heard Suicidal Tendencies a few years after it was released. I grew up in Northern Westchester county so it took things a little longer to reach us, not as long as say North Dakota where they are just learning about the revolutionary sounds of Public Enemy, but it's safe to say we weren’t on the pulse of hip.

My love affair with the record all started when a friend, I'm guess is it was Mike Disocio, who was the first NYHC kid I knew, played I Saw Your Mommy. A nice little ode to someone’s dead mom which I guess at the time was shocking and immediately drew me in. However, what I found was an album that was unlike anything I had heard up to that point. I was in middle school for Christ sake. I mean Shout at the Devil seemed extreme. Between the cholo style of dress, the themes of alienation, the insane aggression and speed of the songs, and the over all frantic energy of the album I was hooked.

I never imagined that I would be listening to this in my thirties; shit I never even thought I would live to thirty, but the album holds up better than the majority of metal albums I was listening to at the time. The content is still relevant, the vocals still hit, and the musicianship is much better than I remember it being. 12 songs, 27 minutes, all great.

Let’s got to the game tape and break it down:

Suicide’s an Alternative – perfect intro for the record, starts with laughing that would give the Joker a semi, multi-tracked vocals that give slick rick a run for his money and a tempo change that is almost rockabilly. The second half of the song is a bluesy ode to Satan. It’s like everything the movie Crossroads could have been if it rocked as hard as the Charlie Daniel’s Band and Macchio wasn't a pussy.

Two Sided Politics – This song is basically an ‘I’m rubber you’re glue’ response to the government backlash that chicken shit politicians often swarm around in an election year, calling out the hot button youth culture as anti-American/anti-everything. It is as poigient now as it was then.

I Shot the Devil – which if I remember correctly was originally called I Shot Reagan. I like the original title better. Non-Phixion paid homage to the song with a song of their own called I Shot Reagan which I never listened to and imagine was no where near as good as the original.

Subliminal – A song about the powers that be fucking with Mike Muir subliminally. I imagine this song is what inspired Killah Priest to rap, which sadly makes me like the song less.

Won’t Fall In Love Today – A nice little one minute ode to sex, which is good because at the time this album came out I could probably only last about one minute in the sack….now I have to play it at least two and a half times.

Institutionalized – I don’t know if it’s the best song on the album, or the best song from the scene, or the best song ever but it is amazing. Sure it’s been beaten to the ground but God damn its awesome. Plus it was used in the Iron Man movie which along with Robert Downey Jr. helped keep that boring, no action having piece of shit movie from totally sucking.

Memories of Tomorrow – I don’t really have much to say about this song. Good fast moving song, great energy but just kinda moves the album along.

Possessed – The 80’s were a great time for songs about possession, Satan, and overall evil doing. Kids were into it and parents were terrified of it. When I was in 6th grade my friend Jimmy Trapasso came up on a copy of the Satanic Bible and he broke a kid off with it. I had it in my locker when I came down with the flu or some shit that kept me out of school for a week. So they had to send my school work home so I didn’t fall behind, god forbid I missed out on a chapter of Johnny Tremaine. Anyway, they found the Satanic Bible in my locker. I got called down to the office and had to explain to my parents what I was doing with a Satanic Bible. That was fun. PS. I think you can see the origins of my rapping style in this song.

I Saw Your Mommy… – Great for shock value but the song is the one song on the record I could do without. It could be because it’s a little lame and juvenile or that it was the premise for much the 1993 Eddie Griffith HBO stand up special which kinda sucked. Eddie riffed on heavy metal songs about killing ones mother and would sing over and over the reprise Mommy’s Gotta Go in a tone and style similar to the chorus of this song. Way to be timely Eddie. Between that special and the Rudy from Fat Albert hats he wore at the time, I hated him.

Facist Pig – Great punk rock song about facist cops. You don’t see that much.

I Want More – Starts of slow giving you a glimpse into that shitty music they would start putting out on their next few albums. Lucky for us it picks up lovely with a great call and response song about how bleak looks for kids when minimum wage is your future.

Suicidal Failure – Also the title of a Cage song. I think its safe to say that this album is as important as A Nation of Millions for indie rappers who are also white. At least it was for me.

Here is a link for the album - enjoy

http://www.zshare.net/download/15020896dde2423c/

confessions of a cruel SOB

This week I got together with a bunch of old friends from high school to have some food and drinks. After catching up on our current lives, we all started to reminisce After talking about girls we used to date, legendary parties and all the stupid dangerous shit we used to do riding our BMX bikes we turned to the wonderful topic of people we used to torment. Leading us all to the realization that we were a bunch of cruel bastards, and let me tell you once we accepted that the laughs really started, so I guess not much has changed.

Anyway this got me thinking about all the horrible shit I used to do to people for shits and giggles, so here are the top 5 cruelest things I’ve ever done to anyone. Names have been omitted to protect the innocent.

5. Pulled up a girls dress in the middle of the cafeteria – I don’t know how it was in your high school but in good old Hendrick Hudson High School the second you start your freshman year every girl you dated for the past 3 years of junior high left you to date upper classmen who had cars and a semi-stache. After two years of toiling away without ladies our time had finally come. A new batch of freshman arrived, we had cars, and hair in our pits. One young lady who will remain nameless, caught my eyes and like most young men who had zero game, I made picked on her constantly. At lunch one day she was walking by and I thought it would be a good idea to pull up her skirt, normally this wouldn’t be that big of a deal but she had a tight lycra skirt on which ended up getting stuck around her waist, embarrassed she ran into a classroom across from the cafeteria that happened to be holding a study hall for upper classmen. While I was a hero amongst my peers I always felt terrible for that one.

4. Threw gum into a girls hair for no reason – It was probably in sixth or seventh grade. My parents moved us upstate to northern Westchester County when we were little because they felt it was better than raising us in Yonkers. We didn’t have a ton of money so we lived in the apartments in the good zip code which was filled with young couples, suburban drug dealers, recent divorcees and families like mine looking for something better for their kids. Well, I befriended a girl who lived in the next building, scratch that I wouldn’t say she was my friend rather someone I would alternately be friendly with and torment. Unfortunately for her she was a fat girl with low self esteem so she would accept such treatment because she didn’t have a lot of friends. Anyway one day we were walking home after school and I had a mouthful of Bazooka, and I don’t know why but I just decided to spit it into her hair. She immediately grabbed it and within seconds it was completely tangled in her hair. She rain home crying. Later that day I went over to apologize and her mom laid into me about how bad of a friend I was, and she was right, I was an asshole for that one.

3. Broke up with a girl on a bet – This one was also one of my stupidest moments ever. She was the first girl I ever really had a crush and I was lucky enough to date her. We were young, maybe sixth grade. A lot of my friends were dating the fast girls your mother used to warn you about. Unfortunately for me this girl, although gorgeous for a sixth grader, was slow. We went on a date to Rolls, the local roller rink and popular make out spot and we didn’t make out. I was annoyed. I told my friend Steve Bell I was thinking about breaking up with her because we didn’t make out. He started making fun of me and bet me $5 that I wouldn’t break it off with her. So with my ego all hurt I marched across the cafeteria and told her 'it’s over' and walked away. She ended up going on to be the best looking girl in our graduating class. Good Job me.

2. Broke a dudes arm – It was during a sporting event so it wasn’t necessarily cruel but I needed to include something that wasn’t done to a woman so I don’t come across like some sort of misogynist pig.

1. Bedded down a girl I couldn’t stand just because her very nature pissed me off – This one, while probably not the cruelest, ranks first because I did it as an adult and it was the last time I was overtly cruel to someone. Before becoming the fourth most famous rapper on Philaflava I used to sell advertising. I was working at a company as an assistant account executive, and I sat across from this girl who while kind of cute was horribly annoying and shallow. I also realized that she had a crush on me. At the time I was already sleeping with the receptionist at this job. Who I learned after the first time I had sex with her and saw the tattoo on her leg of a teddy bear that said snuggles, was a stripper and not the good kind of stripper. No, no, no, she was the kind of stripper that worked bachelor parties. Anyway I got a new job, gave my two week notice and decided to kick it to this woman I hated with every fiber of my being. She ended up not really being a bad person she was just annoying and I was an asshole. Anyway after work one day I went shopping for a new jacket and asked her to come with me. Afterwards I walked her to the train and gave her a kiss goodnight. I knew I had her. One thing lead to another within a few days we are sleeping together. I let this go on for a few weeks and she started falling for me. Once I knew I had her where I wanted her I sent her an email telling her that she shouldn’t call me anymore. When she asked why I replied and said ‘because you are annoying as fuck’.

It ended up being a turning point for me, I eventually realized how mean spirited that was and decided to change my ways. As a payback I fell super hard for the next three girls I dated and they all broke up with me leaving me shattered. Good fun.